Friday, November 11, 2005

For every sourcer with an "Uncle Lucious"

The holidays are coming and I am looking forward to eating turkey with my family, chasing kids around the house and passing out in front of a stack of DVDs. One thing I am ("somewhat") looking forward to is spending time with my Uncle Lucious. That's pronounced "loo-shush" to friends and family and "lush-shus" to all the ladies. (But you have to hear him say that to get the full effect.)

Anyway, Uncle Lucious is what some would call "a visionary on the path to riches." There are others in the family who label him a deadbeat with a different get-rich scheme for every day of the week. If you ask me, I can see both sides of the equation, but I like to encourage people whenever I can.

"Nephew, you know what the world needs?" My Uncle asked me over the phone.

"No," I replied.

"The world needs fun at funerals."

"Fun at funerals?"

"Yeah, see I recently acquired a set of caskets in Las Vegas (Don't ask, I didn't!) and I was wondering how I could parlay them into a profitable enterprise."

Mm-hmm...

"And then I had this idea of creating funerals around themes, you know, "Star Wars" funerals where people dress up like characters in the movie or a Bob Marley send-off where everyone dresses like they are in the islands and we play reggae music..."

"And serve Jerk Chicken with Beans and Rice!" (Sorry, couldn't help it-smile.)

"And then I had this idea of creating a theme park around death."

"Say what?" I said and blinked at the phone as if it were my Uncle.

"Yeah, you know how everybody has diffrent ideas about what Heaven is like right? "

"Yeah..."

"Well, I could create different set ups of what Heaven is like. Say... like... What would a Football Player's idea of Heaven be like? I could have women dressed like cheerleaders and wearing angel wings and..."

"How can I help you Uncle Lucious?" I interrupted. When Uncle Lucious gets into an idea it consumes him and I was running low on the monthly minutes of my cellphone.

"I hear you know your way around the computer and internet and all that..."

"I get around."

"I want you to find me someone I can brainstorm with on this idea and maybe someone who can help me sell these caskets if my idea is too far ahead of its time, if you know what I mean."

Sigh... (rolling my eyes)

"Uncle Lucious," I began, " I usually recruit technical people and don't normally seek out casket salesmen who might be ummm.. open-minded enough to receive your idea. Not that I want to discourage you in your dream, but I am a bit swamped these days with..."

Aunt Minnie just made a fresh batch of "Sugar Cakes."

"Really?!" I said, as I caught myself licking my lips.

You would have to be in my family to know about "Sugar Cakes." You would also have to taste one to know that my Aunt Minnie's Sugar Cakes are not truly of this world because no desert on earth compares to its crunchy toppings, fluffy center and sweet (or is tangy?) memories it leaves in your mouth moments after its in your stomach. My Uncle Lucious had several options to choose from when he decided to get married (let him tell it), but it was Sugar Cakes that edged my Aunt Minnie above the rest. If you were to taste one, you would not think that such an outrageous claim.

"Bring some over tonight and I will try to have a resume for you."

"And that's why you're my faaavvvooooorite nephew!" he cackled as he hung up the phone.

(As Scooby Doo is to Scooby Snacks, so am I to Aunt Minnie's "Sugar Cakes." I think I may need professional help.)

Once I hung up the phone, I realized that I had to deliver on my promise. More than a dozen ways to find someone for this requirement flashed through my head in a milisecond and after 3 seconds I was prepared to try them all, but lucked up (Big time!) with the first thing I tried. This is what I did. (See below)

I visited spaces.msn.com because I hoped to find someone blogging about a weird funeral. Once I found that, I figured I would track down what company produced the funeral and from that, track people who work there and hopefully - a casket salesman who may be open to listening (or tolerating) a conversation with my Uncle. And then at the last moment, I switched gears and thought, "Why not try a resume search first?" So I entered the following criteria: resume "casket sales" (see below).

Once I input that query I hit the big blue search button and it brought back one result. May I add however that it was a "perfect result?" (see below)

Okay, so there are not hundreds of casket salesmen on the blogs. No matter, I found the PERFECT resume for my Uncle to review and it only took seconds. Not only does he have contacts in the industry, he seems (very much) like someone who "thinks outside the box!" (No pun intended - wink.)

Curiously enough, I tried a similar search on Google and got nothing. Interesting...

So what is the moral of the story? Simply put, do what it takes to get some of my Aunt Minnie's Sugar Cakes. (And use MSN Search to save yourself some time.)

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